I have been offended, grieved, and embarrassed by some things that have happened in churches. Even more grievous, I confess my own contributions to these offenses at times.
At times, the failures of churches and individual Christians have been a barrier to me to seeing God clearly, and the barrier seemed even greater when I was struggling with scrupulosity OCD. But as I persisted in seeking God, I realized that the church and my own mind were not adequate to "figure God out". I finally had to admit I had finite understanding, and my only hope was for the infinite God to help me to know Him. More than that, I had to come to the point of being willing to wait on God's own ways and own time for me to know Him. I had to let go of my arrogant pride that God should do things my way.
Though letting go of my pride has required humility, what a freeing thing it has been to look to Christ Himself, not individual Christians or the church, as the perfect representation of God (Hebrews 1:3).
And though waiting on God's ways has required patience, what a beautiful picture of God's work I now enjoy as I reflect on the years in which God's ways and timing were so much better than mine (Isaiah 64:4).
I believe God delights to use the church and my mind to accomplish His purposes, but my hope cannot be in the church or in myself. I must humbly ask and depend on God to guide me into truth and to reveal Christ to me (Luke 18:9-14; Luke 24:45; John 16:5-15).
I'm so thankful that God works through sin-struggling individuals, imperfect churches, and even mental challenges to "show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us" (2 Cor. 4:7). His power is perfected in weakness!
At times, the failures of churches and individual Christians have been a barrier to me to seeing God clearly, and the barrier seemed even greater when I was struggling with scrupulosity OCD. But as I persisted in seeking God, I realized that the church and my own mind were not adequate to "figure God out". I finally had to admit I had finite understanding, and my only hope was for the infinite God to help me to know Him. More than that, I had to come to the point of being willing to wait on God's own ways and own time for me to know Him. I had to let go of my arrogant pride that God should do things my way.
Though letting go of my pride has required humility, what a freeing thing it has been to look to Christ Himself, not individual Christians or the church, as the perfect representation of God (Hebrews 1:3).
And though waiting on God's ways has required patience, what a beautiful picture of God's work I now enjoy as I reflect on the years in which God's ways and timing were so much better than mine (Isaiah 64:4).
I believe God delights to use the church and my mind to accomplish His purposes, but my hope cannot be in the church or in myself. I must humbly ask and depend on God to guide me into truth and to reveal Christ to me (Luke 18:9-14; Luke 24:45; John 16:5-15).
I'm so thankful that God works through sin-struggling individuals, imperfect churches, and even mental challenges to "show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us" (2 Cor. 4:7). His power is perfected in weakness!
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