My Story - My Spiritual Tantrums

This post comes from my reply to the comment in my previous post, "God and My Car Accident":

The suffering that we experience (or fear "what if?" we will experience) can seem overwhelming at times, can't it? Difficulties and suffering have overwhelmed me many times, and I could not fathom how God was still good through it all. I have even yelled at God before, accusing Him of wrongdoing, and so frustrated that He did not do things the way I thought He should. 

I think it's dangerous to get stuck in such a place of accusing God or writing Him off as NOT good, but I am very thankful for His love through my honesty with Him.  In fact, I have found it much better to be honest with Him about my feelings than to pretend that I'm not mad at Him. He knows it anyway, and I really can't move forward until I'm honest with Him and with myself. 

Yes, He has steadfastly loved me even when I have been in those places of spiritual tantrums. If you have seen a toddler throw tantrums, you can picture how a child can accuse her father of wrongdoing even when he has been doing what is good and best for her all along!.

God has loved me through my honesty and raging emotions. And -- when I choose to move forward with Him in His ways and in His timing -- He has faithfully brought me through the process to realize and rejoice in the truth of His goodness once again. Easy? No. Worth it? Yes.

My Story - God and My Car Accident

I have been overwhelmed with God's peace and amazed at His grace. By His peace and by His grace, OCD did not dictate my response to the car accident.  When I was in the hospital and heard that my injury could be much worse than I had thought, I had a serious fight with OCD temptations. But ultimately I did not give in to the temptations, and before long I was able to make decisions apart from the influence of OCD. 

I have also been overwhelmed by God's provision: the fire station being right across the street from the accident, my friend and her daughter who "just happened" to be there at the right time to take my husband and me to the hospital and to take care of my children, and protection from what could have been a much more serious accident.

God's overwhelming peace and provision.  It should seem easy when telling this story to say that God is good.  But what would I say if the results had been different?  What if someone in my family had been seriously injured or killed?  What if God's provision and peace had not been so obvious?  The Bible tells me that God is always good, no matter the circumstances.  But -- being absolutely honest -- would I still be able to say that God is good, even if the circumstance had been one of great pain and loss?  

My Story - I Was In A Car Accident Last Week

My husband and two kids and I were on our way to a weekly Monday night Bible study at our friends' house.  I never saw the other car coming, but suddenly our car spun and came to a stop and I realized we had been hit.  I said to my husband, "Just tell me what to do," and he said to call 911 while he got the kids out of the car.  I stepped out of the car to lots of onlookers.  I didn't think that I had been seriously hurt, but my head was feeling a little strange so I found a spot on the ground to sit down.  Suddenly my good friend's daughter appeared and comforted me, and soon my friend appeared too.  (I discovered later that she had been picking her daughter up from band practice on the other side of town and just happened to be at the intersection within a few seconds of the accident.)  Emergency personnel had arrived quickly too. (I discovered later that the accident happened just across the street from the fire station. They heard the wreck and came right over.)

Our car was totalled, but I soon discovered that my children and husband had not been injured.  I became aware that two spots on my head were quite sore, though.  I figured that they were just small bumps from having hit the side of the car, and I assumed the bumps weren't a big deal.  However, my husband and friend recommended I get it checked out at the ER. When I saw a reflection of myself in a car window, I discovered why.  Apparently the four-inch long lump on my forehead was a clear indicator that it was worth getting a doctor's opinion. 

After examination, the doctor said I could go home but to return to the hospital if my symptoms worsened. I'm still very thankful, almost a week later, that I have healed much more quickly than I expected and it never got worse.  We don't have a car anymore, but all of us are healthy and safe.