My Story - Honesty Is Hard...But Good

As I have grown in understanding the depth of Christ's love and the power of the cross, it has been easier to be honest with myself and with God about my struggles and sins.  

But what motivated me to be honest with God when I didn't trust in His love or the cross?

(1) One motivation was that I realized that God knows everything anyway.  I could pretend that He didn't know the true me, but I would just be fooling myself.

(2) Also, it only made sense to me that if I was going to discover truth about God, I also needed to be truthful about myself.

(3) If doing something hard like being honest with myself and with God had the potential to set me free, then I decided that kind of hard choice was worth it.

As I heard musician Dennis Jernigan share, if you go to doctors but you don't tell them where it hurts, they cannot help you. Likewise, when we come to the healer of our souls, He wants us to tell Him "where it hurts" so that He can help us. I used to fear condemnation if I was honest with God about my sins. But I eventually realized that Jesus came into the world to save us, not to condemn us (John 3:17).  He wants us to be honest about where we hurt, struggle, and sin so that He can heal us!  In my own journey I have found that honesty has been extremely important in finding healing and freedom. 

That is why I included "Absolute honesty with self and God" as the first principle that I need to practice in order to grow in my understanding of God's love and the power of the cross. (See the "cross chart" on the second slide of Learning to Live the Spirit-Filled Life (v2-20-2011b)). Scrupulosity OCD, doubts about the Bible, depression, fear, and other struggles were hard to be honest about, but I never would have found freedom if I hadn't first said, "Lord, this is where it hurts."

My Story - Refreshed!

God has brought me through a series of humbling and difficult lessons over the last few weeks, but I've experienced Him doing a great work in my heart as a result.  Though of course I have not mastered all the lessons He's been teaching me, I sensed this morning that the horrible feeling of bondage to sin had lifted as I approached God with a sincere heart of surrender.  These last few weeks I have been holding onto some sin patterns rather than choosing to follow God's principles, and of course that resulted in all kinds of defeat.  But I have repented and am refreshed now in His forgiveness and power. Also, I am glad to once again be able to sincerely affirm that it is never worth it to walk outside of His will into any kind of sin, no matter how "small" the sin may seem. 

And I was particularly delighted this morning to read the following by Charles Stanley when I opened this month's "From The Pastor's Heart" newsletter:  "Do you realize what an awesome blessing our inadequacies are?  Life presents all kinds of problems and tests that are much more than we can handle on our own.  We may feel overwhelmed by our difficulties and find ourselves thinking, This challenge is much greater than I am, and I don't know what to do.  I need help.  It is then -- and sometimes only then -- that we turn to our loving heavenly Father in prayer."  Stanley notes that it is when we are in such a position of admitting our need for the Father's help that we are "able to experience the awesome provision and victory that God has for [us] because [we're] ready to obey whatever He commands."  

Thank You, God, for bringing me through the valley to the victory, and for changing my heart of stubborn self-will into a heart eager to obey You.