My Story - Expectations of God and Prayer

My pastor says that God made man in His image (Genesis 1:27) but ever since then man has been trying to remake God in man's own image.  That has certainly been true in my life.  

There was a time in my life when I expected God to answer my prayers exactly as I requested and right when I requested, regardless of whether or not it was actually what was best for me or how it affected other people.  I had heard that God answered prayer, so according to how I had fashioned God in my own image, I expected Him to answer my prayers affirmatively and immediately, because, after all, "God answers prayer"!

I found, however, that many such prayers were not answered in the way or the time that I requested.  So, I questioned God's goodness and trustworthiness because, according to my view, He wasn't answering prayer. But eventually I realized that God wasn't the one wrong about this issue of answered prayer.  I was the one who was wrong. 

Whether from ignorance or hardness of my own heart, I had failed to take into account the whole counsel of God's word on prayer. God does answer prayer, but there are some conditions to how He answers them. For example, in Isaiah 59:1-2, it says "Listen!  The LORD's arm is not too weak to save you, nor is His ear too deaf to hear you call. It's your sins that have cut you off from God.  Because of your sins, He has turned away and will not listen anymore" (NLT).

Does this make God a bad Father? I don't think so.  As a mother, I have grown in understanding some of God's wisdom in how He answers His children's requests.  For example, if my daughter asks for a special treat but has repeatedly refused to obey my instructions to clean up her toys, the first issue in my mind to talk to her about is her obedience.  

I don't expect my children to obey because I want to be a tyrant over them, but because I want them to grow into responsible, mature people of character who love others as well as themselves.  Though their desires are very important to me, their long-term growth and character are more important to me than their desires of the moment.   I delight to give them special treats and gifts of all kinds, but I 'will not listen' to such requests when they persist in choosing disobedience.

Though the blessings may not be immediate or tangible, I have regularly experienced God's lavish blessings when I have decided to obey Him. I have enjoyed discovering that He delights to pour abundant blessings on those who make it a way of life to follow His paths.  Therefore I am thankful that He loves me enough to discipline me when I go off His path so that I can come to my senses and get back on His path.  Being on God's path -- where my will aligns with His -- is where I find that my prayers accomplish much.

"If people are willing to get right with God, then their prayers will accomplish much" (from Praying by the Power of the Spirit by Neil T. Anderson, 29).

Note:  Of course not every dark night of the soul is the result of sin, but dark nights are a time, as anytime, to be honest with ourselves and God if there are sin patterns that we are holding onto.  Over the years, I have recognized much sin in my own heart, and it should not have been surprising to me that I was not experiencing many "yes" answers to my prayers during those times of my life.  But when I agreed with God about my sin and chose to let Him teach me to walk victoriously over sin, my prayer life and intimacy with God grew much deeper, and I recognized more "yes" answers to my prayers. 

In addition, after going through many trials and then looking back in hindsight, I am so thankful that many times God's answers to my prayers were "no" or "wait".  He had the wisdom of the past, present, and future and complete ominscience to know when "no" or "wait" was actually best.  He is good.

My Story - "Reaching for the Invisible God"

I am refreshed by the honesty of author Philip Yancey.  He does not shy away from tough and honest questions about Christianity.  On the back cover of Yancey's book, Reaching for the Invisible God: What Can We Expect To Find? it says, "Life with God doesn't always work like we thought.  High expectations slam against the reality of personal weaknesses and unwelcome surprises.  And the God who we've been told longs for our company may seem remote, emotionally unavailable.  Is God playing games?  What can we count on this God for?  How can we know?  How can we know God?  This relationship with a God we can't see, hear, or touch -- how does it really work?"

I read some of this book in 2000, about three years after I became a Christian.  I had struggled with lots of doubts about God before coming to Christ, and I continued to struggle afterwards.  Moreover, I had certain expectations of God that I found weren't being fulfilled, so I often faced questions such as:  Does God really love me?  Can I really trust God? If the Bible says that God answers prayer, why did it seem that so many of my prayers weren't being answered?  If God is good and all-powerful, why is there so much suffering in the world?  If God is so good, why is a relationship with Him so hard at times?

Yancey writes, "The only thing more difficult than having a relationship with an invisible God is having no such relationship" (38). As I reflect on my many years of living apart from God before I became a Christian and then reflect on the thirteen or so years that I have had a relationship with God since, Yancey's words ring true in my experience.

And through it all God has used times of questioning to purify my faith, to convince me of the Truth, and to draw me closer to Him. Through it all I have come to discover more of what I can really expect from Him, and I have come to truly rejoice in Him and love Him all the more.

In the song "Through It All", the group Selah sings: "Through it all, I've learned to trust in Jesus, I've learned to trust in God".  The process of getting to really know God can be difficult, but it is good.  And it is definitely worth it.  

The Dark Night of the Soul and Our Expectations of God

Reality has crushed my expectations in life more times than I can count, including at times in my relationship with God.  The weight of crushed expectations was certainly heaviest during my 'dark nights of the soul'.

In addition to stumbling over expectations of "cheerful tunes, easy answers, and happy smiles" that at times I perceived from some Christians, I also stumbled over my own expectations of who I thought God should be and how He should act.

But before I write about my own expectations of God, I want to ask you to consider your own expectations of God:  Who do you expect God to be?  How do you expect that He should act?  How should He answer prayer? How should He intervene in the events of this world? How should He respond in the dark night of the soul? What do you honestly expect of God?