Pause

I'll be traveling at the end of this week to visit family until the end of July.  If I can't add to this blog while traveling, I'll plan to pick up in early August with more of my story.    

The Joyful Embrace of God's Grace

Before I continue with my story, I'd like to share the poem "My Prodigal" by Beth Moore (Further Still, p. 114).  It's been such an encouragement to me at my low points because it reminds me of God's heart of love that longs to embrace me with grace. I hope it encourages you as well.

"My Prodigal"

I'll run to you when skies aren't blue

And life has let you down

When you've lost hope -- the will to cope 

And rainbows seem to frown

When childhood dreams are lost in streams 

Of steady woes and noes

When fairy tales are scary veils

Of families turned to foes

When you set out to end self doubt 

And end up more confused

When messes made are hands you played

And there is no excuse

When all you planned has turned to sand

Mirages disappeared 

When giving up's the only cup 

To wash away your fears

When nothing's left --  no promise kept

But one I made to you

And in the distance I can sense you

Take a step or two

With open arms -- a cloak from harms

Pace quickened like a youth's

I'll sing,

"My child's come home again!"

And I will run to you!

My Story - Conquering Stress and Hyperventilation Syndrome

Through various stressful events of the last few years, I have discovered different ways that my body responds to stress and anxiety. One response that I have experienced is hyperventilation syndrome (HVS).  I experienced HVS for the first time last summer.  I hadn't experienced it since last summer and it seems that I have grown so much since that time, so I was surprised when a case of it started a couple of weeks ago.

Last summer's experience with hyperventilation syndrome was horrible. I even woke up many nights with different parts of my face numb because I had hyperventilated while sleeping!  My daily functioning and decision-making were greatly inhibited by the combination of HVS and major OCD struggles.

It was a bit embarrassing to admit to myself and to others that parts of my face would go numb at night because of my response to anxiety and stress, but I'm so thankful that I was honest about this weakness with people I trusted.  If I hadn't been honest with myself and others, I doubt that I would have learned how to conquer it.  But, thankfully, discussing the problem with others led to healing and victory over that horrible time.

Since I learned last summer how to recognize and to fight against HVS, I have been much more successful at handling it this time around.  And since OCD greatly exacerbated the HVS last summer, all the things that I have learned about fighting OCD since then have also been instrumental in reducing the severity of my current HVS struggle. In addition, because I have experienced God's faithfulness so abundantly and consistently over this past year, I am currently trusting more in God's goodness, purposes, and love than I did a year ago.  I have even regularly had God's peace that passes understanding in the midst of hyperventilating.  

Note: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperventilation_syndrome has a description of HVS

Note:   One of the books that my counselor used with me in discussing HVS was The Anxiety Cure by Dr. Archibald Hart, who writes from a Christian perspective.