Scrupulosity OCD and the Power of the Gospel

What rest is there for the soul affected by scrupulosity OCD?  

My prior approach to life was dominated by scrupulosity OCD. I thought I had to do, think, be, and say everything perfectly ALL the time.  Since I failed to achieve this, I could not be at peace in my soul and felt certain there was no hope of peace with God.  

But how that has changed as I've grown in understanding the gospel! Counseling and medication played important roles in my victory over OCD, but I think the gospel was the most powerful contributor to victory.  Better understanding the gospel of God's grace that "saved a wretch like me" drew me to experience more deeply God's forgiveness, freedom, and His unconditional love that seeks my best even when I don't love Him back.  In turn, I grew in trusting His perfect character and promises. Such growth in my personal knowledge of God led to greater confidence in God's power and trustworthiness. Eventually the truth of God began to influence my decisions much more than the lies of OCD.

The song "Not in Me", from The Gospel Coalition's* Songs for the Book of Luke, includes the following verse. These words speak of the gospel, in which there is true rest for the soul.

"No humble dress, no fervent prayer, no lifted hands no tearful song,
No recitation of the truth can justify a single wrong.
My righteousness is Jesus' life.
My debt was paid by Jesus' death.
My weary load was borne by Him
And He alone can give me rest."

*The Gospel Coalition website (http://thegospelcoalition.org/) is a rich resource of gospel insights. The Gospel Coalition has helped me to learn to apply the gospel to many different aspects of my daily life. 

Loving the Imperfect Church

I have a hard time loving the church when I expect it to be perfect.  I have a hard time serving my sisters and brothers in Christ when I don't make allowances for each other's faults.  How can I love and serve a messy group of people called the church?  How can I love and serve people in the church who may misunderstand or misjudge my struggles with OCD, HVS, and depression?

Yet I have developed a love for the church over the years.  Recently I found myself smiling at different individuals at my church just because I enjoyed them.  They weren't perfect people, but I had a sense of love and even a tender affection for them. I found myself appreciating that they, along with me, are people perfectly loved by God even though we all fall far short of perfection.  This love for others has not come from my own heart, but from God's love and power that has been changing me. 

"...Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her..." (Ephesians 5:25)

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." (1 John 4:10)

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)